幽默笑話/英文笑話/The Truth About Wives
【標題】：The Truth About Wives
【簡介】：The following statements we...
【正文】：The following statements were proven as completely true by apanel of distinguished men (who were immediately clubbed to deathby their wives).Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?A: Two mothersinlaw.Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?A: Because a woman who can`t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.Q: Why are hangovers better than women?A: Hangovers will go away.Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?A: So they can stand closer to the sink.Q: How do you know when a woman`s about to say something smart?A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."Q: How do you fix a woman`s watch?A: You don`t...there is a clock on the oven.Q: Why do men pass gas more than women?A: Because women won`t shut up long enough to build up pressure.Q: Why were shopping carts invented?A: To teach women to walk on their hind legs.Women are like guns. Keep one around long enough and you aregoing to want to shoot it.Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife isyelling at the front door, who do you let in first? A: The dog of course ... at least he`ll shut up after you let himin! One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set ofgolf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you cantell them apart.Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.Q: What`s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A: A woman that won`t do what she`s told!Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?A: Pregnant.I married Miss Right. I just didn`t know her first name wasAlways.Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.I haven`t spoken to my wife for 18 months I don`t like tointerrupt her.Women are so unreasonable! My wife gets mad at me because everySaturday night I take a bath with bubbles in it. I mean, ifBubbles doesn`t mind, why should she?Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?A: Divorced.Some mornings I wake up grouchy...and some mornings I just lether sleep.Bigamy is having one wife too many.Some say monogamy is the same.Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women`s sexdrive by 90 percent... wedding cake!!
【序號】：337